That's when you crack a 10am beer
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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