Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
