You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
