you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
