I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
