i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
