i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
