Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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