idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
