It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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