This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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