Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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