eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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