So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
