Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
