I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my being single is dangerous.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
