I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
