somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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