Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
People in love make me want to vomit
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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