i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
