Dual....:-)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
