BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm like, not good at living.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
