this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
