just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize