Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
