I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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