Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize