We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
