You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i drank out of a bidet.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
