You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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