garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
