Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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