I think I died a long time ago.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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