hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish I only lived at night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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