We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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