You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
