Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
