please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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