Just cropdusted the office
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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