Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
