well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
