the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
