so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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