how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
