i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
