when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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