like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
