He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
