Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
