marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
