so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
