so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
