Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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