The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
