So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
