I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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