drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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