Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
