Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.