First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
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I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror