Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
did you just send me my own nude
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying