I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is