Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"