dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
