I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
