Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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