I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you would pick up someone in the library
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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