dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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