She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
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I will pee on everything he values.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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