He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
