At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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