Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
