I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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