Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
