i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
