When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
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