Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he shaved USA in his pubs
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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