Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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