I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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