i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Found the puke drawer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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