I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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