i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
